Happy First Week of Spring…

It’s been quite a while since I posted, yet I’ve been thinking about it daily. Life has just gotten crazy in the past few weeks, and longer. Although there has been little posting, I have held strong to my goals, and three weeks later and about fifteen pounds lighter, I think about what has happened to get me here and what I will face in the next few weeks.

I’m still so confused when it comes to my body and how I gain and lose weight. I know sometimes I overeat and gain weight, but when I’m working out regularly and moderately intesely, I can overeat and not gain weight. Just the opposite, I know I can eat really well and gain weight. Maybe this is from sodium and water weight, maybe it’s from under eating or my body adjusting to a recent lose. But what happens when it has no justification that I can see?

When I tried to get back on track, I found many opposing forces at play. I came back from Miami and headed to the farm. Of course I ate more than normal and full fat foods, but I ate salads to curb my hunger with each meal. I gained almost 8 pounds on the farm.

Then I got home and restarted my diet in full force. I lost 12 pounds within the first 6 days. Then I stayed at that weight for a whole week. Not up or down anything. That has not happened to me ever, usually I oscillate at least a portion of a pound. Then I gained four and a half from one night of corned beef and cabbage at mom’s (yum!)

and since then I’ve consistently been decreasing. But it’s been hard work! I know I might never understand and I just need to learn how to navigate my body as it is, but this is frustrating sometimes. And I know I shouldn’t complain because then I lose fairly quickly, but I just don’t know why.

As normal, there have been ups and downs on this journey thus far. I have been sick, had tons of people sicker than I around me, taken on more roles than I should have and am behind in my own work. But I am moving forward with getting healthy. I have been cooking and planning my meals, being prepared and holding strong to my will power, even when faced with temptations.

In the past few weeks, I have tried out new recipes and have some tweaks I would make, but overall made some good new decisions and will rotate these into my normal meal plans.

Some typically recipes of mine include: chili, green chicken chili, chicken or veggie soup, goat cheese & Greek yogurt chicken salad, taco salad, and any other salad with grilled chicken or the like on top.

Two weeks ago I started shrimp wraps. For this, I chopped up cabbage for detox purposes, onion, peppers, and baked this in a casserole dish for 40 minutes and then added shrimp and cooked an additional 10 minutes. Then I separated this into portioned. Each night for dinner, I heated up the mixture, scooped it into lettuce leaves and topped with salsa and light sour cream. Delicious!

  

That particular week, I realized I wasn’t eating breakfast, as the second I would walk into work, life got crazy. I can’t eat breakfast as soon as I wake, so when I get to work is my typical breakfast time. However, when there are so many responsibilities pulling at my time, I find myself pushing breakfast to the side. This is particularly hard on days which lunch is late, two days a week it’s at 1:30 and one day it’s even as late as 2:20. When I start my day with the kids at 8:40, that’s a long morning! Last week to combat this issue, I started to make my own coffee and stick it in the fridge to cool. In the mornings, I fill my blender bottle with 10oz of strong coffee, a few tablespoons of fat free creamer and a scoop of vanilla almond whey protein powder.

Last week in addition to a new round of my breakfast, I also made a new lunch, as dinners were going to be on the go with late nights at work. I tried a new veggie mixture. I wasn’t sure what protein I wanted with it, so I tried something new and added some quinoa to the mix. I baked peppers and onions,(again) along with green beans and mushrooms with eggplant in a homemade sofrito seasoning… All veggies were on sale, and I couldn’t pass them up. I have gotten into this baking my veggies in a casserole dish so I can multi task and not stand over the stove while they are cooking. However, I did cook the quinoa on the stove and divided into my containers. Once the veggies were done, I added them to my containers and covered them to cool. I wanted to add cabbage again but my baking dish was full, so instead, I cut it up and tossed the whole warm veggie mixture over it each day for lunch. Talk about filling! There were some days I couldn’t finish the portion I allotted myself per day.

This week, my new creation dish was inspired by things I had lying around my pantry. When I was meal planning, I wasn’t sure if I was going to have to move or not, as my lease was going up significantly. I had some cans of pineapple slices and a bottle of teriyaki marinade which I haven’t used. I saw some picture of grilled pork chops with pineapple and decided to try a version of it. I, as a grown up, have never made myself pork chops before. I usually cook chicken or ground turkey or beef. Other than that, it’s mostly veggie dishes or fish for me. So this was a real accomplishment in my thinking about protein. I marinated a family pack of bone in pork chops in half the bottle of teriyaki sauce and some juice from the pineapples. I also cut up peppers and onions and did the same. Then next day I baked the veggies. In a separate pan, I baked the chops in the last 10 minutes of cooking, I added the pineapple slices to the top. Once done, I cut out all the bones and weighed out about 3 ounces of meat, placing each serving in a container with a portion of the veggies. This I topped with the pineapple again and let cool. Once each container is heated for dinner, I stick a healthy scoop of salsa on top for some tang and eat. I’m so happy with the flavor profile, I think I might need to learn to make a healthier, homemade version of teriyaki sauce. Ahh! I can’t wait to get home for dinner this week.

Today I was at a workshop, as was I yesterday. However, I walked yesterday from my workshop to school and then again home, totally about 8 miles. The previous day, I attempted to walk home, and made it half way. Last week I walked home twice, about 4.5 miles each day. This has made me extra hungry today. It was a hard day to stick to my plan and the food I brought with me. At the end of the workshop, the presenters put candy in the tables. This was tough to resist, but I didn’t have any of it.

I had all my snacks before 3pm and attempted to walk downtown. Mother Nature had other plans, as I barely made it 2 miles before the drizzle grew harder and the wind froze my fingers and toes. I was forced to train it the additional 3 miles down to my meeting.

While waiting, I was starving, yet I couldn’t decide what to eat that wouldn’t break my food bank. I settled on a banana and iced coffee with skim milk after walking in and out of many food establishments. Afterwards, it was still rainy and cold and I couldn’t walk home, so I hopped back on the train. I ate dinner as planned and kept my picking tonight to a minimum, not like the past two nights where I’ve indulged in some nuts with whipped cream and strawberries…. A scrumptious combination.

In general, I’ve allowed myself to be easy going in the rest of my meals. Some canned soup and greens or yogurt and a small box of cereal for lunch, fiber one bars and fruit or cottage cheese for snacks.

As for now, I’ll take the confidence growing back in myself and the way my clothes fit me.

And I will take this weekend in stride, as I’m going to my friend’s wedding. I already have planned to eat a healthy breakfast and lunch and ordered the healthier dinner option (I hope). If I can keep the cocktail hour, drinks and dessert at bay, I’ll be fine. I can dance it off! But regardless of how this Saturday goes, Sunday I’ll be back in track. I have about 3 months to camp by this point, and even though it seems like it might not ever be shorts season, as it’s still freezing outside, I know this time will creep up on me and this year, I’ll be prepared. Prepared not only to start the summer at a happy weight, but also to end it.  But first, I anxiously await spring and the warmer weather that brings this city to bloom.

And goodbye to the snow for the season!

Thanksgiving Recovery

After all my advice for myself before Thanksgiving, I followed some of my goals and failed at others.  It’s okay though.

Wednesday night, I went to the Balloon Inflation event as I was planning to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons get blown up.  I was wet and cold, but beared it anyway, figuring when would I ever do it again?  It was a neat New York experience.  Afterwards, I went downtown with a friend to meet up with three other friends hanging out in Penn Station waiting for us.  We had a shot to warm up our bodies, then headed out to our next stop in the Meatpacking District.  We bumped into a cool looking Beer Garden and went in for a drink.  Then we hit up two more places, the first where we toasted to the midnight of Thanksgiving, then headed to another bar for some dancing.  This we stayed at until they turned the lights on and kicked us out at 4am.  How did I manage to make this, up for over 23 hours straight, since I went to Crossfit that morning before work, I was up at 6 and went to bed around 5:30.  Although there was a small part of me who knew if I went to sleep it would be that much harder for me to wake up in the morning.  I did it though.  And I even woke up two hours later at 7:30 to shower and pack up for the weekend.  Then I headed to the grocery store in order to food shop for the dinner Friday and breakfast Saturday I was planning.  This took me an hour and I was on my way to my mom’s.

At mom’s I had some caffeine and helped her cut some cheese and veggies.  My brother and sister came upstairs and began cutting as well, so I had them help me cutting all the veggies for the chili the next morning.  Thanks bro for all the onions!  When that was done, family began to arrive.  Mom put out apps and I had a few pieces of cheese and walked away.  I kept my afternoon under wraps, eating some yogurt and veggies ahead of time.

Then dinner was served!

 

 

I made my plate, lots of veggies and protein, and then I added a taste of sweet potatoes, rice and stuffing.  I stayed away from the biscuits and anything else I was only wishy-washy on.  I ate half the plate with a glass of wine and was full.  So instead of forcing myself, I wrote my name on the plate and stuck it on the counter, which I went back to later in the night.  This kept my snacking at bay, since I had part of my dinner left, and it alleviated as much picking as I could.

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Dessert was easy to resist for some reason at the time.  There was ice cream cake, cheesecake, and cookies with ice cream (could you tell my family likes ice cream?)  I didn’t have dessert at the time, but definitely snacked on cookies later that night until they were eaten by the 11 people that stayed at my mom’s for the weekend.

 

After snacking a bit that night, and having a second glass of wine, we put on some movies and hung out.

The next morning we all woke up with shopping on the brain.  I quickly put up two different chilis in crockpots to cook all day while we were out.  My mom had made a french toast bake, which I had a taste of and we left for some shopping time.  I had a cup of coffee midway through the mall and not much else.  We got home about 6, all hungry with the house smelling delicious.  Mom had put out the leftovers and we pigged in, eating a combination of leftovers and chili.  The ground turkey, red bean chili was almost finished before I had saved one container for myself for lunch throughout the week.  I ate this over cabbage, figuring it would be a good day for some detoxing veggies.  The green chicken chili went over fairly well also, but I had two containers left of that.  I limited my leftovers to a little rice and potato salad (since there was no more stuffing).  However, this night was much worse with the snacking.

 

 

Since we hadn’t eaten anything all day, it was harder to resist.  On top of that, I was exhausted.  I barely slept in the two days and I spend 8 hours at the mall shopping.  I snacked on pub cheese with pretzels, cookies, and pepperoni with a few chips.  Everytime I told myself to stop I would, then shortly later I would go back to it.  This all until I went to sleep about 1:30 for a second day in a row.  Talk about not getting enough sleep, it was so unhealthy for my body, and I still haven’t gotten an appropriate amount of sleep and won’t for the rest of December, until vacation at least.

Saturday morning we woke up early again (about 7:30) and I started cooking breakfast as we were talking.  I made two kinds of egg bakes from recipes I adapted off of pintrest.

 

 

 

The first, I figured would be for the family.  I put frozen has brown potatoes on the bottom (most of the bag), then I cut up a package of frozen breakfast turkey sausage.  Then I mixed up a dozen eggs with some milk and poured it on top with half a red onion.  For the smaller tray, I used one portion of the potatoes and 3/4 a package of the turkey sausage.  Then I added the red onion with some left over veggies from the Thanksgiving veggie platter, including pepper, broccoli, and carrots.  I also added some spinach and topped it with a container of egg beaters with a little milk also.  I baked these for 45 minutes covered in tinfoil.  Then I took off the foil and topped each with cheese (the regular one with a Mexican blend and the smaller one with fat free cheddar).  I baked it again for 15-20 minutes until it was all bubbling.

 

From the family’s comments, many of them enjoyed the veggie one better anyway, so next time, I’ll reverse the sizes.  We only had a little of the veggie one left.

That day we did more shopping at Target, then headed to the movies to watch Mockingjay Part 1.  Damn movie theater popcorn is so freaking good, I ate a bunch of it with some peanut butter MnMs.  Awesome!

We went home and I packed up the million bags I had from my Black Friday shopping and headed home to go out that night.  I agreed to host another event, but once I was home and brought all my bags upstairs, I just wanted to sit and veg out on the couch.  Instead I got dressed and headed out before I could get too comfy.  I ended up having a nice night, and stayed out a little longer than I anticipated.  Maybe because I spent more time with guys I just met than the group, but regardless I hung out till after midnight yet again.  Where is this energy coming from?

The next morning, I woke up to tutor and at the rest of the veggie bake cold on my way to my first session.  I was fine that first one, left with 3 peppermint scones and ate them all on my way to the second session.  Damn!  I was positive this would be a good day.  So I tried.  I ended my second session and walked the 2.5 miles to my third and final session of the day.  After that I walked to Brooklyn to get a massage I scheduled as a treat.

 

It was supposed to be a 90 minute massage that ended after 60.  At first I was pissed, but scheduled myself to go back for the rest of it next week, so I guess that can’t be too bad.  Although I was so tired, I stayed awake for most of the massage then walked the 2 miles home.  I unpacked and cleaned my apartment until my neighbor came over to hang out for a bit.  Then I was tired and went to sleep.  I snacked, which except for the wine was fine in terms of staying within my budget for the day.

Monday I forgot to set my alarm and missed my Crossfit class.  I brought all my leftovers (the chili, cabbage, fat free sour cream, a sandwich and yogurts) to work to eat as my meals all week.  I did fine throughout the day and enjoyed seeing my Chiropractor again after such a long weekend.  By the time I was ready to walk to class, of course it was raining again and I couldn’t walk.  I took the train there.  After class though, it was clear enough to walk home.  When I got there, I heated up a package of frozen cauliflower in a garlic sauce.  I topped it with grated cheese and hot sauce.  That was satisfying for that time of night.  I knew I needed to get stuff done, but also knew I needed to sleep, so I gave up earlier than I should have.  But I felt better about it today.

This morning though, I woke up hungry and on my way to school I treated myself to a wake up wrap from Dunkin Donuts with my coffee.  Tuesday is my early morning at work and I can’t get my liquid happiness from across the street.  My coteacher was out today which meant my day was all off.  Not bad, just more hectic than normal.  I ate breakfast, and then started work.  I ate my chili for lunch and afterschool, I headed for my tutoring session.  I walked in a panic trying not to be too late since I had to dismiss an entire class today.  But I made it and they weren’t even expecting me.  The little girl was not happy to see me and had a fit.  Her mom told me to reschedule and I left!  I rushed for nothing, but at least I get paid… and I got to take the 5pm Kettlebell Kickboxing class instead of the 6pm.  The 5pm class has less people and this way I was out earlier to come to the Library to work on my final project which is due in less than two weeks.

I’m freaking out only a little and should be working on it, but I needed to post to keep me focused.  I weighed in today and was a pound heavier than last week.  I guess after a holiday weekend, that’s okay with me, but I was hoping to stay down.  I have a busy couple of weeks and my goal of being 10 pounds lighter by Christmas might not be happening.  But I would love to be in my 10s by the time I need to wear shorts again.  If I’m focused I can at least be down a few pounds, even with a ton of dinners and happy hours coming up.  Too many parties in the holiday season.  But I will prevail!  My good mood is kicking in and I’m committed to head to Crossfit in the mornings and working out in the evenings if I have time, considering my finals and such.  I’m trying at least not to snack, like the person sitting next to me is on candy and other fattening shit I don’t need now.  I’m not even interested in it, but if given the chance, I know I would mindlessly eat it.  Especially since spending a few nights in the Library means late nights, early mornings and little sleep.  This all means I’m hungrier in general and eat more to stay awake.

I just need to make sure right now that I am eating as best as I can, and right now, I think that means more snack foods to keep me powering through the time at the library and working out as often as I can.  I’m going to try to get to Crossfit at 6:30am 3 times a week for the next 3 weeks.  Then I’ll decide if I can continue to afford it, but right now, it’s the best time for me because it’s out of the way and I start my day on a positive note.  I enjoy working out in the morning, I just wish I could do it on my own.

Although its getting cold, I can still walk as well. However, it sucks when I need to dress warm for when I’m staying around outside at lunch duty or waiting for an appointment.  At the same time, when I’m walking with my backpack on my back and my gym bag on my hip for more than 20 minutes, its hard not to start sweating.  Then I have this awful disconnect where part of my body is cold, and part is hot and sweaty.  Then I get to something like school or a tutoring session with a sweaty back and pitts. Then I grow cold because I’m wet.  What’s a sweaty girl to do?  Dress lighter?  Carry a million extra clothes?  Don’t walk?  I don’t know what’s the best of the evils.  I guess I’m going to have to figure out how to walk around New York with an even bigger bag than I already do, that’s a problem I think.

But it’s all for the best!  The best for me, and it’s me I’m worried about.  I am finally feeling happy with myself again and need to just juggle my responsibilities and my fun times!  It will be worth it in the end though, I know it will be… every time I get down to around 160, I head right back up, but the fact is I’ve made it down there 3 times already in the past few years.  I can do that and more, I just need to stay motivated and supported by those around me… time to ditch those around me that don’t support me, which aren’t many at this point, but there are new people joining my life that I need to make sure are as understanding as those who are close to me.  I got this.  I just need to be confident in myself!

Woo Hoo, Excited for the Weekend to come!

This has been a very exciting past few days.  Monday I woke up in the best of moods.  I woke up early and finally made it to Crossfit before work.  I completed my hour workout and grabbed a cup of coffee on the way to work, where I changed and got ready for the day.  I had a really good morning and had my meals planned out from the previous day.

However, my day didn’t go exactly as I planned, I ate my sandwich and apples as normal.  Then for snack during my staff meeting, I ate (or drank) my Pumpkin Chia Seed Pudding.  Epic fail about pudding because used almond milk.  A friend at work told me that almond milk doesn’t allow pudding based foods to solidify.  However, I can’t find any articles to help me remedy this situation.  Now it’s more like flavored milk with chia seeds.  Weird, but not revolting.

I walked to class and then home that night.  I was still in a good mood, feeling happy and excited about the days to come.  I got home, unwound for a few and my neighbor came over.  We talked about Thanksgiving foods for about an hour.  It made my mouth water and I couldn’t wait (and still can’t).  Oddly enough, this didn’t make me want to eat.  When he left, I drank a cup of tea, ate some mango.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling a little tired, but ready for the day.  Work went well and I think I even ate too little throughout the morning.  The afternoon, I turned down working a club so that I could go to a kettle bell kickboxing class.  Class was tough.  There were only 4 of us, so there was no hiding.  I worked my ass off, sweating like a madman.  I called my mom to talk to her about my plans for the weekend, because no they are more solid than they were at the beginning of the week.  I changed and walked almost 4 miles to go to BarBacon.  While there, I had so much fun.  Many of the people who were signed up for the event were my friends, and we caught up some more.  We had a beer and bacon flight with 4 choices of 5oz. beer and 2 slices of 4 flavors of bacon: Black Pepper, Applewood, Pecan, and Jalepeno.  I drank lots of water while I was there, refused to share tatar tots with the group and didn’t finish my entire flight.  I threw my napkin on top of bacon once I felt even slightly content.

 

I got home and usually would have eaten some more, but I was in a hyper good mood, I had some mints instead and hopped in for a shower.

This morning, I woke up at about 6:10, not packed.  Last week when I did this, I turned over and went back to sleep for a half hour.  This morning I got up and raced to get ready by 6:20 so I could make it to Crossfit on time.  I threw on my gym clothes, threw day clothes in my backpack, poured some water and ran out the door.  I made it!  Just in time and it was worth it; it was a vicious workout.  I was sore already today, but in a good way, especially since I gain 1 pound on the scale this morning.  Probably, since the bacon was so salty.  I am still thirsty now, over 15 hours later!

I headed to work for our writing celebration, and cringed when I saw the table of junk food.

 

 

I chose decisively that I wanted a rice ball which one of our parents make, and a cocktail pig in a blanket (just one).

 

It was so worth it to eat so nicely, I felt better that I didn’t pick at all the crap sitting there and tempting me.  At about 10 minutes into the hour long celebration, I went back to my room for a piece of gum to chew on so that I would want to eat all of the rest of stuff.

The day went on nicely, and at lunch I was hungry.  I had brought a sandwich and pudding, but I wanted to save that, since school lunch looked good today.  I ate some broccoli and a small piece of chicken breast, without the glaze sauce the kitchen puts on top.

Then I went to visit the Kindergarten writing celebration and was crossed with even more sweets, and ones more appealing to me.  I resisted, eating 2 clementines and leaving.

 

This evening, I’m planning on going out for a drink and then the watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons.  Then about an hour ago, friends texted that they are going bar hopping tonight.  So I’m saving my sandwich for dinner before I hang out with these peoples.  So far, I have planned and controlled my cravings, but I’m getting nervous.  I can deal with tonight, getting a lot of water and one drink at each bar, pending how many we hit!

However, I still need to think about the rest of this weekend!

Tomorrow my mom is cooking and I can’t wait for stuffing and turkey and yams!  But I know I will easily drink a whole bottle of wine if I’m not careful, it is an all day affair in my house.  Then the rest of the weekend we will be together.  Foods I know are in my future:

Thursday: shrimp cocktail, pepperoni and cheese, salsa and chips, turkey, ham, biscuits, yams, rice, veggies in butter sauce, stuffing, wine, ice cream cake and cookies

Friday: French Toast Bake, leftovers for lunch, and white chicken chili and turkey red bean chili with cabbage and toppings (instead of rice), and evening snacks including popcorn, chips and salsa

Saturday: Breakfast Casserole, movie snacks

Sunday: back to my normal routine

I also found while on Pintrest a  post about Thanksgiving Fouls.  It talks about 4 ways diets go out the window on Thanksgiving.  I think that  it has some good advice including selecting 3 appetizers, 1 of which must be a veggies healthy option.  Start small, and take what you want as long as its a small portion, just enough to satisfy your palate.  Playing a game instead of picking on leftovers.

http://news.health.com/2009/11/23/4-thanksgiving-diet-fouls/?crlt.pid=camp.7vbUnNCz9eh4

I know I won’t be able to stick as closely as I would want, but I have high hopes and I just need to keep thinking, “is what I’m going to eat be worth it?”  Most of the times I know it won’t be.  My problem is all mental, knowing I only get these foods once or twice a year.  I need to get over that and only eat till I’m comfortable.  I got this!  It’s all about portion control…. more to come…

 

 

 

 

 

Over the first hurdle, I’ve got this!

Today it was hard to get up, but once I was up, I was great.  The trains this morning sucked and it took me double the time to get to work, but somehow I didn’t let that bother me.  I was okay with it.  The day chugged along, some work got done, others didn’t.  I ate well.  Cottage cheese and a banana for breakfast, a salad with grilled chicken for lunch.  I drank so much water, yet I couldn’t quench my thirst.  I think the steroids I’m on are making me thirsty, and less hungry than normal.  I had to force myself to eat something last night, and toady very similar.

After school, my co-worker and I went for a run, which I was worried about at first since it was so hot this afternoon, but I felt so much better afterwards, even if it was a struggle to get through it. We walked back and then continued to her neighborhood. We talked for a little bit, and it was so nice.

I walked home a little while later and felt strong. This is like how I felt last year at this time, when it all fell into place. My mind is stronger, as I continue to get rid of excess baggage that doesn’t belong in my mind. Too many people have set up space in my head, and I need to start kicking out the voices that don’t support me. This includes people I know as well. I can’t move forward if others are trying to hold me back or get ahead at my expense. I want friendships where we lift each other up, motivate each other and want the best for each other. Those are the people I enjoy spending time with and I need to find more people like that, and more importantly strengthen those relationships in my life already… particularly because it is a busy time of the year, and I’m spread thin.

I finally got home and after a much needed shower, raided my fridge to see what I could throw together. I had anticipated being out later, and now that I was home wanted something more than snacks. I have avocados that will go back soon. But what could I put with one for dinner? An egg? That sounded delicious, but I wanted something cold, since I was still hot from my walk. I ended up heating up a chicken sausage, and paired that with 1/2 an avocado, a Laughing Cow cheese garlic and herb wedge, and some hot pepper rings. I was perfectly filling and something I would do again as a quick, healthy meal.

I allowed myself some downtime. I knew I should have been working on progress reports, but instead I watched a movie and relaxed on the couch. Some much needed me time after always being in such a rush everywhere. It was nice, and after the movie, I got to work. I washed dishes and prepared my meals for tomorrow. I picked out my clothes until Friday and iced my foot. Another successful night!

Happy Monday!

7:30am

Although today is a rainy start to the week, I have such high aspirations, it’s amazing!  

Last night, I feel as if I really faced some feats!  I didn’t get as much work done as I would have liked to, however, I walked 3 1/2 miles after tutoring, while there was a break in the rain.  Then I got home, ate and relaxed.  I didn’t allow myself to get sucked into my tv shows or the couch, and got up after an hour to cook my weekly lunch of stuffed peppers and cut up veggies for snacks, and wash dishes.  About 5, all of this was done, and I knew I should have gotten to work with other things, but I just needed to get out of the house.  I threw on jeans and a fleece, with my awesome fingerless batman gloves and took off.  I was headed for the river, for a sentimental thinking session, when I bumped into a friend halfway there.  He walked with me the rest of the way, just as we arrived, it started to pour!  What a sign it was for me!  We walked to the bus stop in the pouring rain.  By the time I got off the bus, I was soaked and cold.  But, nevertheless, I walked another 3 miles and didn’t sit around and eat.  I am beginning to really be proactive about a healthy lifestyle, I would rather take a walk than eat and sit on the couch for hours. My lifestyle is coming back and so is the positive mood.

Today I am prepared to do well… I packed my food and my gym bag.

7:30pm
As this afternoon comes to a close, I did well this morning and will push through this evening. Today was pretty good. I was hungry, but didn’t go overboard.

For Breakfast, I made my egg white muffins on Saturday. In my muffin tins, I sprayed all the sides, and added diced red pepper and grated zucchini. Then I filled to almost the brim, Egg Beater’s egg whites, which was about 3-4 tablespoons. Then I baked them for 25 minutes on 350 degrees. I ate this with my coffee and a grapefruit. It was delicious, but I need to add some more sustenance next time I make them, maybe adding a deli meat cup prior to adding the other ingrediants.

For Lunch, I wanted to try something new, using veggies and protein. I decided on stuffed peppers. To do this, Yesterday I cooked up almost a pound and a half of ground turkey, to this I added a package of mushrooms and a jalapeno I diced up and a can of diced seasoned tomatoes. While this was cooking, I cut the stems out of 6 green peppers, pulled out the center and seeds. Then I stuffed 1/2 cup of the mixture into each pepper, and baked in a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes. Once slightly cooled, I placed each pepper in a container with some extra meat. Finally I topped this with an ounce of goat cheese. When I ate this for lunch, I was completely satisfied and content.

11:30pm
After staff meeting today, I headed to a union meeting that interested me. I got there and a buffet was spread out for us. It looked delicious. I was hungry, and chose to eat pineapple, grapes, and tomatoes with a few small slices of cheese. I passed the chicken wings, the saucy meatballs, cookies, sauces and other condiments. I left full and ready for class.

After class, I wanted to just go home and relax. I texted my friends, who have become my new support system and was encouraged to head to the gym, no matter how much I didn’t want to go. I realized that I think I was scared to go back. I want to be where I was last year when I stopped working out, but haven ‘t been to the gym in months! I took the advice of my friend and completed a short workout. It was surreal walking back into the gym, being absent for so long, but the routine flowed right back. I hopped on the elliptical for 30 minutes, completing 12:12 minute miles, then stretched for 20 minutes. I forced myself to keep going through the hard times, but I also remembered how good working out feels when I was on that elliptical. I will be going back and continuing to workout, tone and lose.

When I got home, I ate a quick stew I threw together this weekend, including kale, a can of chick peas, and a can of peeled tomatoes. Then I topped it with avacado. It was good.

Tomorrow I weigh in, and am excited! I actually feel like my efforts are starting to pay off and I want to just keep going. And for now, bed!

Another Day to Stay Focused

Today was another good day. I was focused and happy for much of the day. Working out so much yesterday give me a bigger appetite today and I was busy at work this morning and forgot to eat breakfast. I hate when that happens it’s usually unintentional but happens too often. I’m glad lunch is at 11 o’clock in the morning so it’s more like breakfast. But ice still would like to be consistent with eating breakfast when I get to work at 7:30.

For lunch this week I made a ground turkey salad with fresh salsa and sour cream. It is perfectly satisfying.

Today after conferences I went to a Zumba class. I felt so stiff and out of shape. Although I wanted to give up I pushed myself through the class and felt better afterwards for it. My body did not move as fast as it normally does and my hips and knees are really bothering me. That’s a problem in my book. I’m hoping that once I lose weight the stress will come off of my knees and once I continue to work out some more my hip will stretch out. I have not felt that out of touch in a long time this is the exact reason why was avoiding exercise for so long. And now I’m back and have to stick with it. You don’t want to have this feeling again! After Zumba I stayed for belly dancing class which was not as intense but definitely a worked out for my arms and my abs. Going to do the same routine on Monday I’m excited hopefully Zumba won’t be as tough.

When I got home tonight I ate a delicious dinner of Kale, butternut squash, red pepper, onion, topped with tilapia. I a wall I figured out my menus for the next couple of weeks because I realized this week my diet with low in fiber. I’m trying to really work on balancing my plate with veggies, fruits, protein, dairy, and greens along with nutrients such as fiber and lots of water.

As for now it’s time for sleep so I don’t feel tired tomorrow.

Feeling Better

Finally, I am starting to feel better about myself and what I’m doing! There is snow and ice on the ground, and more on the way, but for some reason, the good feeling is starting to kick in, and I haven’t even started really exercising yet. Today though, I have had some shifts in my thinking.

Although my day was tough, kids are as tired of the snow as I am. I think we all need some good ole outside time! But it doesn’t look like that will be happening anytime soon here in New York, so I have to make due with what is available. This means I need to start hitting the gym, but at least I’m eating well and staying on my plan. Like I had been, I cooked all of my meals this past Sunday. Unfortunately, I’m still not consistently eating my yogurt for breakfast due to distractions at work (the stress of 7 page progress reports)! But the rest of my day is going well. For dinner, I prepared boiled acorn squash, with a side of steamed spinach and chopped red peppers. On top of this, I place shrimp, green beans and red pepper strips which I sauteed with cilantro, lime juice, salt and pepper. Then I topped it all off with pomegranate seeds and parmesan cheese. Super delicious!

Each day I get excited for my meals right now, not only is dinner good, but so is lunch (to be discussed tomorrow)

Tonight I was watching the recent season of The Biggest Loser.  I started watching this show last year, and I enjoy it a bit.  Being behind a few episodes, I only watched the makeover episode and watched the participant’s reactions as they got to see themselves in new clothes with a new hairdo.  I was reminded of how I feel each time I get into the 160’s and can fit into my size 10 jeans.  The smile on my face is brighter and my step is lighter.

I want that feeling again, and I want more this time.  I don’t want to stop when I get to the 160’s, not even the 150’s.  I want to see 149 on that scale!  Step by step I need to stay motivated.  I think I need to set myself another goal.  I want my own makeover.  I keep telling myself I will not go clothes shopping for anything else until I reach my goal, I have far too many pieces of clothing to begin with.  But I’m thinking more of a makeover day would be something to look forward to.

So much more to say, now that I’m feeling better… but I do need to go to sleep so I am not exhausted tomorrow and start binging.  Sleep is the key to success.  Or at least one element to it!

 

Green and White Chicken Chili

After my long night of cupcake baking, I went home and prepped for dinner the next night. Last night, my mom came over and we had dinner before heading off for a boat dance cruise around the New York Harbor.

I thought Chicken Chili would be a good combination of filling and low calorie. I cut up all the veggies and chicken and put it all in tuperware until the next morning and in the fridge.

Yesterday morning, I dumped all the ingredients into the Crock Pot and turned it on in the midst of getting ready for work.

Before work….

After work….

We cut up cabbage and put it in the bottom of our bowls, covered it with the Green and white Chicken Chili and topped our bowls with fat free sour cream, a squirt of lime, chopped cilantro, and cut up avocado.

Dinner was delicious, it was a little spicier than I anticipated, but the sour cream and a glass of white wine cut some of the heat.

The cruise was great, we stuck to vodka with club soda and lime and enjoyed our night out. When we got home, we each had a second bowl and then headed for bed.

Green and White Chicken Chili Recipe:

1-2 lbs Chicken Breast, chopped in bite sized pieces
3 cups low sodium Chicken Broth
1- 19oz can White Cannellini Beans
1 jar Salsa Verde
2 green peppers, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
2 zucchinis, chopped
4 cloves garlic

Toppings:
avocado
fat free Sour Cream
cilantro
cheese

Put all in the Crock Pot. Set on low for 10 hours.

Waking up this morning, I was a little worried, as I was the same weight the past two days in a row, and did as well this morning when I woke up and got on the scale. My mom and I decided to go get coffee and picked up breakfast from a local coffee shop that I enjoy. Little Skips has a killer Norwegian sandwich that is open faced with goat cheese and smoked salmon topped with lettuce, tomato, red onion and honey-lime vinaigrette. Then we also tried a new sandwich which was similar, only had apples instead of the salmon and a raspberry vinaigrette. One sandwich came with some chips and shared it all.

Later in the day today, I went out looking in stores, just to get out of the house and go for a walk. I tried on some clothes and loved the way I looked! Something clicked, maybe its some self-confidence or self-esteem. Maybe its good attention. But all I know is I feel good and I want it to keep going.

A New Week, A New Start (two days ago)

After pumpkin picking, which turned into a full on binge fest, somehow which I’m still not sure how, I need to get back on track. I tried eating apples on Saturday, whenever I goto hungry. I think I ate about 6 apples throughout the day, before I turned to the doughnuts and other snacks everyone else was eating.

This week I have found my way back on track. I constantly think about what I can add to my posts, but actually creating them is turning into a problem this year. I’m just so busy, it’s insanity.

Sunday, I gave up on trying to get everything ready once I got home. I had gone food shopping, but changed my week’s plan because I couldn’t find several ingredients, so I will have to come back to those ideas. However, I got back on track on Monday, and even ordered only a soup from the Chinese food restaurant when I was eating out.

Tuesday night I made the ultimate dinner. Since I purchased a few different squash from the orchards, I planned spaghetti squash for this week.

I cut the squash in half and leaving the seeds in, I put it face down on the cookie sheet I sprayed down with cooking spray. I baked it for 50 minutes in a 400 degree oven.

When it was finished, I pulled it out. Scooped the seeds into a separate container, which I snacked on, and started forking out the flesh of the squash.

Then I mixed a cup of the squash with half a cup of frozen peas and a Garlic and Herb Laughing Cow cheese wedge.

This I added back into the empty squash half, topped with a pan fried piece of tilapia and garnished with slices of avocado. It was delicious. All the flavors melted together, making flavorful combinations in every bite.

As for the rest of the week. Although I carried my gym bag around with me both Monday and Tuesday, I didn’t end up at the gym. Finally today at least I walked home to give me some exercise. This only came after a training where I walked into plates of assorted chocolate pieces.

I only had one piece of chocolate after long glares at the plate. I resisted the rest of the plate, which I thought about several times throughout the training. I even moved it away from me and towards a fellow colleague who was eating the candy. This kept me at bay for the session at least.

On my way home I was hungry, but was planning on stopping by the grocery store in order to grab some fresh ingredients for a chili I’m making for this weekend. I kept picking things up, but only ended up straying from my list slightly, primarily for items on sale that was ending tonight. I didn’t want to carry anything I didn’t need right now. I bought a peach to eat then, it looked so good. The peach was perfect. It actually satisfied me to the point where I thought about not eating dinner. I ate anyway, at almost 10pm. I debated because it was so late, however, I didn’t want to be starving later in the evening or early in the morning where I would overeat. It’s not worth it!

For now, I need to stay on track this weekend, despite my plans to be out half of the time. Life is about balance, and I have to find mine. The struggle between my diet/healthy days and my splurge days is teetering towards giving in to more splurges than planned and desired. These put a wrench in my plans to make my goal by the end of this year.

Feeling Hungry… All the time!

These past few days, I have been feeling hungry. Not emotionally hungry, which I often feel when I’m stressed or upset, but rather a physical hunger that makes my stomach growl and my brain want to eat. The good thing about this hunger, is anything will satisfy it if I am mentally doing well, this craving can be subsided with fruits, veggies, or any low calorie, low fat snack (or high, but I won’t give in!).

From past experiences, I know that when your body is telling you to eat, do it. But I am so fearful of gaining instead of losing with my birthday looming over me. I’m not as afraid of turning 30 as I am of not meeting my goal by 30! I’ve lived all of my 20s over weight and as I grow older it’s only harder to stay in shape. Routines need to start now.

I read this article about starting to get fit in your 30s. Getting In Shape In Your 30s

But the idea of being hungry, I have not solved yet. For years, I have heard the idea that you know you’re on a diet when you’re hungry all the time. I don’t want to be on a diet, rather, I want to live a healthy lifestyle. That means everything in moderation.

So lately when I’ve grown hungry, especially in the evenings when I have food choices all around me, I’ve been making tea with a little fat free half and half or eating those 15 calorie rice cakes. I’ve chewed gum or sucked on sugar free mints. And then I’ve tried to busy myself because there is a tub of fat free cool whip in my freezer that I can eat straight or topping sweet pita chips calling my name, night after night since I’ve discovered how good the combination is!

I know when I work out sometimes I am hungrier on a more regular basis, but I’m not working out very well right now. So I’m confused as to why I’m so hungry. But I will be working out harder and longer soon, I just have to stop procrastinating it!

As for dinner last night, I changed how I plated my chicken salad on eggplant, and I think I liked it much better. I put the lettuce down first as a bed, then the eggplant topped with the chicken salad mixture and avocado. Yum!

As for now, I’m trying not to eat, but if I’m hungry, I’m sticking to fruits, veggies and protein if possible. I’m in this to win this and I will hit my goal by the end of this year!

Some motivation to keep me going!