Happy First Week of Spring…

It’s been quite a while since I posted, yet I’ve been thinking about it daily. Life has just gotten crazy in the past few weeks, and longer. Although there has been little posting, I have held strong to my goals, and three weeks later and about fifteen pounds lighter, I think about what has happened to get me here and what I will face in the next few weeks.

I’m still so confused when it comes to my body and how I gain and lose weight. I know sometimes I overeat and gain weight, but when I’m working out regularly and moderately intesely, I can overeat and not gain weight. Just the opposite, I know I can eat really well and gain weight. Maybe this is from sodium and water weight, maybe it’s from under eating or my body adjusting to a recent lose. But what happens when it has no justification that I can see?

When I tried to get back on track, I found many opposing forces at play. I came back from Miami and headed to the farm. Of course I ate more than normal and full fat foods, but I ate salads to curb my hunger with each meal. I gained almost 8 pounds on the farm.

Then I got home and restarted my diet in full force. I lost 12 pounds within the first 6 days. Then I stayed at that weight for a whole week. Not up or down anything. That has not happened to me ever, usually I oscillate at least a portion of a pound. Then I gained four and a half from one night of corned beef and cabbage at mom’s (yum!)

and since then I’ve consistently been decreasing. But it’s been hard work! I know I might never understand and I just need to learn how to navigate my body as it is, but this is frustrating sometimes. And I know I shouldn’t complain because then I lose fairly quickly, but I just don’t know why.

As normal, there have been ups and downs on this journey thus far. I have been sick, had tons of people sicker than I around me, taken on more roles than I should have and am behind in my own work. But I am moving forward with getting healthy. I have been cooking and planning my meals, being prepared and holding strong to my will power, even when faced with temptations.

In the past few weeks, I have tried out new recipes and have some tweaks I would make, but overall made some good new decisions and will rotate these into my normal meal plans.

Some typically recipes of mine include: chili, green chicken chili, chicken or veggie soup, goat cheese & Greek yogurt chicken salad, taco salad, and any other salad with grilled chicken or the like on top.

Two weeks ago I started shrimp wraps. For this, I chopped up cabbage for detox purposes, onion, peppers, and baked this in a casserole dish for 40 minutes and then added shrimp and cooked an additional 10 minutes. Then I separated this into portioned. Each night for dinner, I heated up the mixture, scooped it into lettuce leaves and topped with salsa and light sour cream. Delicious!

  

That particular week, I realized I wasn’t eating breakfast, as the second I would walk into work, life got crazy. I can’t eat breakfast as soon as I wake, so when I get to work is my typical breakfast time. However, when there are so many responsibilities pulling at my time, I find myself pushing breakfast to the side. This is particularly hard on days which lunch is late, two days a week it’s at 1:30 and one day it’s even as late as 2:20. When I start my day with the kids at 8:40, that’s a long morning! Last week to combat this issue, I started to make my own coffee and stick it in the fridge to cool. In the mornings, I fill my blender bottle with 10oz of strong coffee, a few tablespoons of fat free creamer and a scoop of vanilla almond whey protein powder.

Last week in addition to a new round of my breakfast, I also made a new lunch, as dinners were going to be on the go with late nights at work. I tried a new veggie mixture. I wasn’t sure what protein I wanted with it, so I tried something new and added some quinoa to the mix. I baked peppers and onions,(again) along with green beans and mushrooms with eggplant in a homemade sofrito seasoning… All veggies were on sale, and I couldn’t pass them up. I have gotten into this baking my veggies in a casserole dish so I can multi task and not stand over the stove while they are cooking. However, I did cook the quinoa on the stove and divided into my containers. Once the veggies were done, I added them to my containers and covered them to cool. I wanted to add cabbage again but my baking dish was full, so instead, I cut it up and tossed the whole warm veggie mixture over it each day for lunch. Talk about filling! There were some days I couldn’t finish the portion I allotted myself per day.

This week, my new creation dish was inspired by things I had lying around my pantry. When I was meal planning, I wasn’t sure if I was going to have to move or not, as my lease was going up significantly. I had some cans of pineapple slices and a bottle of teriyaki marinade which I haven’t used. I saw some picture of grilled pork chops with pineapple and decided to try a version of it. I, as a grown up, have never made myself pork chops before. I usually cook chicken or ground turkey or beef. Other than that, it’s mostly veggie dishes or fish for me. So this was a real accomplishment in my thinking about protein. I marinated a family pack of bone in pork chops in half the bottle of teriyaki sauce and some juice from the pineapples. I also cut up peppers and onions and did the same. Then next day I baked the veggies. In a separate pan, I baked the chops in the last 10 minutes of cooking, I added the pineapple slices to the top. Once done, I cut out all the bones and weighed out about 3 ounces of meat, placing each serving in a container with a portion of the veggies. This I topped with the pineapple again and let cool. Once each container is heated for dinner, I stick a healthy scoop of salsa on top for some tang and eat. I’m so happy with the flavor profile, I think I might need to learn to make a healthier, homemade version of teriyaki sauce. Ahh! I can’t wait to get home for dinner this week.

Today I was at a workshop, as was I yesterday. However, I walked yesterday from my workshop to school and then again home, totally about 8 miles. The previous day, I attempted to walk home, and made it half way. Last week I walked home twice, about 4.5 miles each day. This has made me extra hungry today. It was a hard day to stick to my plan and the food I brought with me. At the end of the workshop, the presenters put candy in the tables. This was tough to resist, but I didn’t have any of it.

I had all my snacks before 3pm and attempted to walk downtown. Mother Nature had other plans, as I barely made it 2 miles before the drizzle grew harder and the wind froze my fingers and toes. I was forced to train it the additional 3 miles down to my meeting.

While waiting, I was starving, yet I couldn’t decide what to eat that wouldn’t break my food bank. I settled on a banana and iced coffee with skim milk after walking in and out of many food establishments. Afterwards, it was still rainy and cold and I couldn’t walk home, so I hopped back on the train. I ate dinner as planned and kept my picking tonight to a minimum, not like the past two nights where I’ve indulged in some nuts with whipped cream and strawberries…. A scrumptious combination.

In general, I’ve allowed myself to be easy going in the rest of my meals. Some canned soup and greens or yogurt and a small box of cereal for lunch, fiber one bars and fruit or cottage cheese for snacks.

As for now, I’ll take the confidence growing back in myself and the way my clothes fit me.

And I will take this weekend in stride, as I’m going to my friend’s wedding. I already have planned to eat a healthy breakfast and lunch and ordered the healthier dinner option (I hope). If I can keep the cocktail hour, drinks and dessert at bay, I’ll be fine. I can dance it off! But regardless of how this Saturday goes, Sunday I’ll be back in track. I have about 3 months to camp by this point, and even though it seems like it might not ever be shorts season, as it’s still freezing outside, I know this time will creep up on me and this year, I’ll be prepared. Prepared not only to start the summer at a happy weight, but also to end it.  But first, I anxiously await spring and the warmer weather that brings this city to bloom.

And goodbye to the snow for the season!

A busier week than anticipated!

Yesterday was more of a normal day at work, although now I will be taking my lunch the last period of the day on Wednesdays due to scheduling of specials.  This sucks!  It means that I eat breakfast about 8:30 and I won’t have my lunch break until about 2:30.  I have to remember to make sandwiches or something easy to eat when I do lunch duty with the kids at 12:45.  This way I can get work done on my lunch and not be ravenous and eat everything in sight on Wednesdays.

This Wednesday was okay, and I did eat a sandwich with the kids.  I wasn’t insanely hungry and I got some work done on my lunch.  However, I ran out after work to tutor and grabbed an apple.  I picked up another coffee and after tutoring met my mom for dinner.  We tried a new restaurant in midtown called Kristabelli.  I was a Korean BBQ place and we had delicious food.  We started with an amuse-bouche and 2 appetizers.  Then we got 2 entrees.  One was a bibimbop, which is a rice dish.

 

Then we had wagyu beef on the grill and lots of sides, including seaweed, kimchi, sauces, and a salad which was all delightful!  I would definately go back and eat some more.  I was full by the time we finished the meal and our bottle of wine.

 

Then came dessert.  We ordered a Korean pancake, which was to die for.  I loved the sauce it was smothered in and wanted to bathe in it, but I resisted and stuck to licking my spoon clean.  We also got a caramel popcorn ice cream dish.  My mom enjoyed that more than I did, but it was very good.

 

I practically rolled out of there, full but not completely stuffed.  We wandered around midtown and walked off some of the food.  We looked at the holiday shops and ended up in Bryant Park for a glass of wine outside next to the fire.  It was nice not to rush anywhere and just hang out before things get crazy again.

 

I got home that night and should have done some work, but instead, I chilled out and went to sleep (still not early, but not as late as the past few days).

My mom called (my alarm when I am staying up late since I am so not a morning person).  I went to Crossfit this morning and we did a solid cardio session with rowing, mountain climbers and jumping rope.  It sucked until I left and felt great.  I even had time to go home and shower my sweaty self off since I was heading to a workshop, not work this morning.

For lunch, I had a combination of things, as I picked up a whole bag of carrots, some sliced veggies at the late night deli off the subway near me.  I haven’t gone food shopping this week and don’t have time to really do much prep.  I even got to plan my meals for next week while at the workshop.  I’m excited as I’m planning some chicken soup and oatmeal for next week since it’s getting cooler.

Now I just need to find time to go food shopping.  But I guess Saturday afternoon after tutoring will do just fine.

I walked uptown and went shopping, since I had to return a dress that did not look good on me.  Instead I bought a shirt and a skirt with a pair of new earrings.  I was trying on a few things, and I know I feel better about myself, I just wish my midsection felt the same way.  I was unhappy with what I saw in the mirror.  But I won’t let it get me down, I’m working too hard to give up, because then my belly really won’t look hot.

I thought about a workshop my co-worker/friend went to last night on emotional eating.  She started to tell me about it today over lunch.  The gist of what she was telling me really struck home as it is something I regularly struggle with.  It was the difference between self-esteem and self-worth.  Self-esteem is what I struggle with because I let others influence how I feel about myself.  My self-esteem is highly rooted in how much I weigh, and what I perceive myself to look like (which is usually negative…)  However, I feel lately, I’m focusing on my self-acceptance more than that self-esteem which is influenced by my environmental factors.  I am feeling better about who I am as a person and am coming to terms with the fact that I can’t control everything and at the same time, I can’t have everything.  I work my ass off in so many aspects of my life, and even though I don’t look the way I wish I looked, that’s okay because I’m making moves to be healthier, physically and mentally.  (More to come about this workshop… )

However, after my shopping trip I went to class, where about half way through I thought I was going to die, I got so tired.  She made us put down our computers and so I couldn’t keep myself occupied and awake.  Afterwards I had to make an appearance at a portfolio exhibit.  There was tons of appetizers there and I was so hungry.  But I was going out to dinner, so I didn’t want to eat, but I couldn’t resist as I was so hungry.  I had some of the grilled veggies and tried to stay away from the fried foods and sweets.  I had half a glass of wine and forced myself to leave.

At dinner, I couldn’t decide what was the best option.  While looking at the menu of Heartland Brewery, I couldn’t decide from the vegetarian dish with squash and wheat berries, a salad, or baked chicken.  I ended up getting the ahi tuna burger on whole wheat with a salad instead of fries.  Only stupid me forgot to ask for all the sauces and dressing on the side, as I was distracted.  So my stuff was doused.  I only ate a few forkfuls of the greens and I took the side of the bun off with the mayo.  I ate the tuna steak and half of a half of the bun with a ginger slaw.  I only drank water.  I tried.

I couldn’t stay long, grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to the library yet again.  And now, I’ve been here for almost 2 hours and what can I say I’ve done?  I looked on pintrest for some cookie recipes.  I think I’m going to make a few batches of cookies for my birthday party next weekend.  I also spent time writing up this post and editing some comprehension questions for my students.

Damn I still have a lot of work to do.  I’m such an awful procrastinator and I can find a million ways to not get this paper done.

LMAO… like this Problems of Procrastinators

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Recovery

After all my advice for myself before Thanksgiving, I followed some of my goals and failed at others.  It’s okay though.

Wednesday night, I went to the Balloon Inflation event as I was planning to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons get blown up.  I was wet and cold, but beared it anyway, figuring when would I ever do it again?  It was a neat New York experience.  Afterwards, I went downtown with a friend to meet up with three other friends hanging out in Penn Station waiting for us.  We had a shot to warm up our bodies, then headed out to our next stop in the Meatpacking District.  We bumped into a cool looking Beer Garden and went in for a drink.  Then we hit up two more places, the first where we toasted to the midnight of Thanksgiving, then headed to another bar for some dancing.  This we stayed at until they turned the lights on and kicked us out at 4am.  How did I manage to make this, up for over 23 hours straight, since I went to Crossfit that morning before work, I was up at 6 and went to bed around 5:30.  Although there was a small part of me who knew if I went to sleep it would be that much harder for me to wake up in the morning.  I did it though.  And I even woke up two hours later at 7:30 to shower and pack up for the weekend.  Then I headed to the grocery store in order to food shop for the dinner Friday and breakfast Saturday I was planning.  This took me an hour and I was on my way to my mom’s.

At mom’s I had some caffeine and helped her cut some cheese and veggies.  My brother and sister came upstairs and began cutting as well, so I had them help me cutting all the veggies for the chili the next morning.  Thanks bro for all the onions!  When that was done, family began to arrive.  Mom put out apps and I had a few pieces of cheese and walked away.  I kept my afternoon under wraps, eating some yogurt and veggies ahead of time.

Then dinner was served!

 

 

I made my plate, lots of veggies and protein, and then I added a taste of sweet potatoes, rice and stuffing.  I stayed away from the biscuits and anything else I was only wishy-washy on.  I ate half the plate with a glass of wine and was full.  So instead of forcing myself, I wrote my name on the plate and stuck it on the counter, which I went back to later in the night.  This kept my snacking at bay, since I had part of my dinner left, and it alleviated as much picking as I could.

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Dessert was easy to resist for some reason at the time.  There was ice cream cake, cheesecake, and cookies with ice cream (could you tell my family likes ice cream?)  I didn’t have dessert at the time, but definitely snacked on cookies later that night until they were eaten by the 11 people that stayed at my mom’s for the weekend.

 

After snacking a bit that night, and having a second glass of wine, we put on some movies and hung out.

The next morning we all woke up with shopping on the brain.  I quickly put up two different chilis in crockpots to cook all day while we were out.  My mom had made a french toast bake, which I had a taste of and we left for some shopping time.  I had a cup of coffee midway through the mall and not much else.  We got home about 6, all hungry with the house smelling delicious.  Mom had put out the leftovers and we pigged in, eating a combination of leftovers and chili.  The ground turkey, red bean chili was almost finished before I had saved one container for myself for lunch throughout the week.  I ate this over cabbage, figuring it would be a good day for some detoxing veggies.  The green chicken chili went over fairly well also, but I had two containers left of that.  I limited my leftovers to a little rice and potato salad (since there was no more stuffing).  However, this night was much worse with the snacking.

 

 

Since we hadn’t eaten anything all day, it was harder to resist.  On top of that, I was exhausted.  I barely slept in the two days and I spend 8 hours at the mall shopping.  I snacked on pub cheese with pretzels, cookies, and pepperoni with a few chips.  Everytime I told myself to stop I would, then shortly later I would go back to it.  This all until I went to sleep about 1:30 for a second day in a row.  Talk about not getting enough sleep, it was so unhealthy for my body, and I still haven’t gotten an appropriate amount of sleep and won’t for the rest of December, until vacation at least.

Saturday morning we woke up early again (about 7:30) and I started cooking breakfast as we were talking.  I made two kinds of egg bakes from recipes I adapted off of pintrest.

 

 

 

The first, I figured would be for the family.  I put frozen has brown potatoes on the bottom (most of the bag), then I cut up a package of frozen breakfast turkey sausage.  Then I mixed up a dozen eggs with some milk and poured it on top with half a red onion.  For the smaller tray, I used one portion of the potatoes and 3/4 a package of the turkey sausage.  Then I added the red onion with some left over veggies from the Thanksgiving veggie platter, including pepper, broccoli, and carrots.  I also added some spinach and topped it with a container of egg beaters with a little milk also.  I baked these for 45 minutes covered in tinfoil.  Then I took off the foil and topped each with cheese (the regular one with a Mexican blend and the smaller one with fat free cheddar).  I baked it again for 15-20 minutes until it was all bubbling.

 

From the family’s comments, many of them enjoyed the veggie one better anyway, so next time, I’ll reverse the sizes.  We only had a little of the veggie one left.

That day we did more shopping at Target, then headed to the movies to watch Mockingjay Part 1.  Damn movie theater popcorn is so freaking good, I ate a bunch of it with some peanut butter MnMs.  Awesome!

We went home and I packed up the million bags I had from my Black Friday shopping and headed home to go out that night.  I agreed to host another event, but once I was home and brought all my bags upstairs, I just wanted to sit and veg out on the couch.  Instead I got dressed and headed out before I could get too comfy.  I ended up having a nice night, and stayed out a little longer than I anticipated.  Maybe because I spent more time with guys I just met than the group, but regardless I hung out till after midnight yet again.  Where is this energy coming from?

The next morning, I woke up to tutor and at the rest of the veggie bake cold on my way to my first session.  I was fine that first one, left with 3 peppermint scones and ate them all on my way to the second session.  Damn!  I was positive this would be a good day.  So I tried.  I ended my second session and walked the 2.5 miles to my third and final session of the day.  After that I walked to Brooklyn to get a massage I scheduled as a treat.

 

It was supposed to be a 90 minute massage that ended after 60.  At first I was pissed, but scheduled myself to go back for the rest of it next week, so I guess that can’t be too bad.  Although I was so tired, I stayed awake for most of the massage then walked the 2 miles home.  I unpacked and cleaned my apartment until my neighbor came over to hang out for a bit.  Then I was tired and went to sleep.  I snacked, which except for the wine was fine in terms of staying within my budget for the day.

Monday I forgot to set my alarm and missed my Crossfit class.  I brought all my leftovers (the chili, cabbage, fat free sour cream, a sandwich and yogurts) to work to eat as my meals all week.  I did fine throughout the day and enjoyed seeing my Chiropractor again after such a long weekend.  By the time I was ready to walk to class, of course it was raining again and I couldn’t walk.  I took the train there.  After class though, it was clear enough to walk home.  When I got there, I heated up a package of frozen cauliflower in a garlic sauce.  I topped it with grated cheese and hot sauce.  That was satisfying for that time of night.  I knew I needed to get stuff done, but also knew I needed to sleep, so I gave up earlier than I should have.  But I felt better about it today.

This morning though, I woke up hungry and on my way to school I treated myself to a wake up wrap from Dunkin Donuts with my coffee.  Tuesday is my early morning at work and I can’t get my liquid happiness from across the street.  My coteacher was out today which meant my day was all off.  Not bad, just more hectic than normal.  I ate breakfast, and then started work.  I ate my chili for lunch and afterschool, I headed for my tutoring session.  I walked in a panic trying not to be too late since I had to dismiss an entire class today.  But I made it and they weren’t even expecting me.  The little girl was not happy to see me and had a fit.  Her mom told me to reschedule and I left!  I rushed for nothing, but at least I get paid… and I got to take the 5pm Kettlebell Kickboxing class instead of the 6pm.  The 5pm class has less people and this way I was out earlier to come to the Library to work on my final project which is due in less than two weeks.

I’m freaking out only a little and should be working on it, but I needed to post to keep me focused.  I weighed in today and was a pound heavier than last week.  I guess after a holiday weekend, that’s okay with me, but I was hoping to stay down.  I have a busy couple of weeks and my goal of being 10 pounds lighter by Christmas might not be happening.  But I would love to be in my 10s by the time I need to wear shorts again.  If I’m focused I can at least be down a few pounds, even with a ton of dinners and happy hours coming up.  Too many parties in the holiday season.  But I will prevail!  My good mood is kicking in and I’m committed to head to Crossfit in the mornings and working out in the evenings if I have time, considering my finals and such.  I’m trying at least not to snack, like the person sitting next to me is on candy and other fattening shit I don’t need now.  I’m not even interested in it, but if given the chance, I know I would mindlessly eat it.  Especially since spending a few nights in the Library means late nights, early mornings and little sleep.  This all means I’m hungrier in general and eat more to stay awake.

I just need to make sure right now that I am eating as best as I can, and right now, I think that means more snack foods to keep me powering through the time at the library and working out as often as I can.  I’m going to try to get to Crossfit at 6:30am 3 times a week for the next 3 weeks.  Then I’ll decide if I can continue to afford it, but right now, it’s the best time for me because it’s out of the way and I start my day on a positive note.  I enjoy working out in the morning, I just wish I could do it on my own.

Although its getting cold, I can still walk as well. However, it sucks when I need to dress warm for when I’m staying around outside at lunch duty or waiting for an appointment.  At the same time, when I’m walking with my backpack on my back and my gym bag on my hip for more than 20 minutes, its hard not to start sweating.  Then I have this awful disconnect where part of my body is cold, and part is hot and sweaty.  Then I get to something like school or a tutoring session with a sweaty back and pitts. Then I grow cold because I’m wet.  What’s a sweaty girl to do?  Dress lighter?  Carry a million extra clothes?  Don’t walk?  I don’t know what’s the best of the evils.  I guess I’m going to have to figure out how to walk around New York with an even bigger bag than I already do, that’s a problem I think.

But it’s all for the best!  The best for me, and it’s me I’m worried about.  I am finally feeling happy with myself again and need to just juggle my responsibilities and my fun times!  It will be worth it in the end though, I know it will be… every time I get down to around 160, I head right back up, but the fact is I’ve made it down there 3 times already in the past few years.  I can do that and more, I just need to stay motivated and supported by those around me… time to ditch those around me that don’t support me, which aren’t many at this point, but there are new people joining my life that I need to make sure are as understanding as those who are close to me.  I got this.  I just need to be confident in myself!

Woo Hoo, Excited for the Weekend to come!

This has been a very exciting past few days.  Monday I woke up in the best of moods.  I woke up early and finally made it to Crossfit before work.  I completed my hour workout and grabbed a cup of coffee on the way to work, where I changed and got ready for the day.  I had a really good morning and had my meals planned out from the previous day.

However, my day didn’t go exactly as I planned, I ate my sandwich and apples as normal.  Then for snack during my staff meeting, I ate (or drank) my Pumpkin Chia Seed Pudding.  Epic fail about pudding because used almond milk.  A friend at work told me that almond milk doesn’t allow pudding based foods to solidify.  However, I can’t find any articles to help me remedy this situation.  Now it’s more like flavored milk with chia seeds.  Weird, but not revolting.

I walked to class and then home that night.  I was still in a good mood, feeling happy and excited about the days to come.  I got home, unwound for a few and my neighbor came over.  We talked about Thanksgiving foods for about an hour.  It made my mouth water and I couldn’t wait (and still can’t).  Oddly enough, this didn’t make me want to eat.  When he left, I drank a cup of tea, ate some mango.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling a little tired, but ready for the day.  Work went well and I think I even ate too little throughout the morning.  The afternoon, I turned down working a club so that I could go to a kettle bell kickboxing class.  Class was tough.  There were only 4 of us, so there was no hiding.  I worked my ass off, sweating like a madman.  I called my mom to talk to her about my plans for the weekend, because no they are more solid than they were at the beginning of the week.  I changed and walked almost 4 miles to go to BarBacon.  While there, I had so much fun.  Many of the people who were signed up for the event were my friends, and we caught up some more.  We had a beer and bacon flight with 4 choices of 5oz. beer and 2 slices of 4 flavors of bacon: Black Pepper, Applewood, Pecan, and Jalepeno.  I drank lots of water while I was there, refused to share tatar tots with the group and didn’t finish my entire flight.  I threw my napkin on top of bacon once I felt even slightly content.

 

I got home and usually would have eaten some more, but I was in a hyper good mood, I had some mints instead and hopped in for a shower.

This morning, I woke up at about 6:10, not packed.  Last week when I did this, I turned over and went back to sleep for a half hour.  This morning I got up and raced to get ready by 6:20 so I could make it to Crossfit on time.  I threw on my gym clothes, threw day clothes in my backpack, poured some water and ran out the door.  I made it!  Just in time and it was worth it; it was a vicious workout.  I was sore already today, but in a good way, especially since I gain 1 pound on the scale this morning.  Probably, since the bacon was so salty.  I am still thirsty now, over 15 hours later!

I headed to work for our writing celebration, and cringed when I saw the table of junk food.

 

 

I chose decisively that I wanted a rice ball which one of our parents make, and a cocktail pig in a blanket (just one).

 

It was so worth it to eat so nicely, I felt better that I didn’t pick at all the crap sitting there and tempting me.  At about 10 minutes into the hour long celebration, I went back to my room for a piece of gum to chew on so that I would want to eat all of the rest of stuff.

The day went on nicely, and at lunch I was hungry.  I had brought a sandwich and pudding, but I wanted to save that, since school lunch looked good today.  I ate some broccoli and a small piece of chicken breast, without the glaze sauce the kitchen puts on top.

Then I went to visit the Kindergarten writing celebration and was crossed with even more sweets, and ones more appealing to me.  I resisted, eating 2 clementines and leaving.

 

This evening, I’m planning on going out for a drink and then the watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons.  Then about an hour ago, friends texted that they are going bar hopping tonight.  So I’m saving my sandwich for dinner before I hang out with these peoples.  So far, I have planned and controlled my cravings, but I’m getting nervous.  I can deal with tonight, getting a lot of water and one drink at each bar, pending how many we hit!

However, I still need to think about the rest of this weekend!

Tomorrow my mom is cooking and I can’t wait for stuffing and turkey and yams!  But I know I will easily drink a whole bottle of wine if I’m not careful, it is an all day affair in my house.  Then the rest of the weekend we will be together.  Foods I know are in my future:

Thursday: shrimp cocktail, pepperoni and cheese, salsa and chips, turkey, ham, biscuits, yams, rice, veggies in butter sauce, stuffing, wine, ice cream cake and cookies

Friday: French Toast Bake, leftovers for lunch, and white chicken chili and turkey red bean chili with cabbage and toppings (instead of rice), and evening snacks including popcorn, chips and salsa

Saturday: Breakfast Casserole, movie snacks

Sunday: back to my normal routine

I also found while on Pintrest a  post about Thanksgiving Fouls.  It talks about 4 ways diets go out the window on Thanksgiving.  I think that  it has some good advice including selecting 3 appetizers, 1 of which must be a veggies healthy option.  Start small, and take what you want as long as its a small portion, just enough to satisfy your palate.  Playing a game instead of picking on leftovers.

http://news.health.com/2009/11/23/4-thanksgiving-diet-fouls/?crlt.pid=camp.7vbUnNCz9eh4

I know I won’t be able to stick as closely as I would want, but I have high hopes and I just need to keep thinking, “is what I’m going to eat be worth it?”  Most of the times I know it won’t be.  My problem is all mental, knowing I only get these foods once or twice a year.  I need to get over that and only eat till I’m comfortable.  I got this!  It’s all about portion control…. more to come…

 

 

 

 

 

Weekend One Done

It’s a great weekend yet again, but truly a good one and I’m in a great mood today!

I’ve wanted to post for the last two days but things have been so busy, in a good way… Friday was a long day, since I only had a few hours sleep, but I got home and had some good mood creative juices running through my head, and instead of sleeping I wanted to lesson plan. I forced myself to sleep instead and was happy I did when my alarm went off Friday morning.
I had a meeting and a crazy morning with the kids. Once lunch duty was over and I defrosted, I ate another sandwich as I did all week, and I even resisted school lunch again, bringing down fruit to snack on while I’m in the cafeteria.
The staff happy hour I was planning flopped and so I stayed to grade math work. My friend called and we went for a glass of wine. I shuck true to my one glass as she ordered a second. She also tried convincing me to share an appitizer, but I refused, as she was going out to dinner and I was heading home for what I thought was going to be a night in. I was slightly worried about snacking on my couch, but figured I still had veggies and it would be okay.
We bumped into other coworkers and I had the opportunity to stay out and dunk some more, but also knew that was not a good idea after the conversations I had about my lonely state of mind.
I headed home regardless and plopped on my couch. I started thinking about everything I needed to do still even after my night at the library. My apartment was a hot mess. A friend of mine called, as he was in the area, and at first I said no to his offering of dinner at a local pizzeria. But then he was discussing issues he was having, and I felt he needed to talk, so I conceded. In our hour wait time, we hit a new bar in my neighborhood I had been wanting to try. Drinks were deliciously strong. Then we went for our reservation and I ordered a beet dish, in which my friend pretty much laughed at me as he ate this calzone type meal stuff with cheese, pepperoni and other deliciousness. Of course I tried it, but only a small price. I felt better that I went out and it turned out to be a nice night.

Saturday I had to tutor for much of the day, although I got there and was only schedule for 4 out of the 6 sessions I planned to complete. So what did I do? Instead of reading or writing tutor reports, I took a little nap. I had planned to walk home, but wasn’t feeling it, so I got my flu shot and walked into Chipotle. I saw the line and stared at the menu. And I walked out without ordering anything. Small victories! I walked towards the bridge before getting on the subway to go home.
While on the subway, I got an email about a speed dating night. It just so happened that this event was down the block from an event I was thinking about going to. So I had no excuses! I registered and started thinking about what to wear.
I got off the train and went food shopping, only picking up a few things because it’s a short week with the holiday and all. So I bought lettuce, apples and some frozen veggies since they were on sale. I got home and made my sandwiches for the week. Then I decided to make pumpkin chia pudding for the week as a snack. I used a cup of almond milk, half a cup of pumpkin, a tablespoon of chia seeds, and a tablespoon of maple syrup. I shook it and stuck it in the fridge. I don’t know what it tastes like yet because it had to set. I’ll try it tomorrow. I made myself a drink if vodka and sugar free red bull while I was prepping my food. I also have fruit and yogurt for breakfast. This way I don’t have to worry this week because it will be a busy one and I need to be good so I can stay good over the long thanksgiving weekend!

Then I showered and got ready to go out. At first I was planning on eating, but I got distracted and didn’t end up eating dinner. I did however get dressed and felt okay about it. I even put on heels.
I headed out and my first stop was this speed dating event. I went on 8 five minute dates and met some interesting men. I also met some new people to go out with. They served food as part of the mingle time, and I tried two mozzarella stick pieces and only ended up eating a bite of the pizza because it wasn’t good enough to be worth it

Then I headed to my e&a event down the block. We got to chatting about how we haven’t seem each other in a while and I ended up going to another bar with one friend. She said the was an Irish bar down the block and we walked towards is ending up in a Mexican bar with loud music next door by accident. It was right up my ally as there were so many cute guys. It was really loud and not my friend’s scene so we stayed for one drink and left. We went next door to the Irish pub, but it was packed so we didn’t stay. I headed to the subway to go home.
I want to to go back there to dance one night.
I got home and would normally have pigged out on anything I could find, stopping for a slice or something like it on my way home. But not this night! I changed and drank some water and crawled into bed.
This morning I headed to tutoring, stocked with snacks since I would be out all day! I ate a fiber one bar and coffee then at the end of my first session, the little girl gave me a box full of peppermint scones. Great, temptation!
But I stuck to my plan, I had my yogurt and a Quest bar along with 2 small apples instead of the scones. Now the question is what do I do with the full box?

I finished tutoring and headed downtown.  I walked 4 1/2 miles downtown and couldn’t bear heading to the library after sitting in a little room for more than 5 hours.  I decided to treat myself to a manicure.  I had a full card from their services and got a free 10 minute massage.  I then walked home another 3 1/2 miles.

I was hungry and made dinner right away.  Shirataki noodles with a frozen broccoli and cheese side and additional broccoli and cauliflower from Whole Foods was fast and filling.  The bowl was overflowing, but it was mostly just veggies, as it’s late and don’t want to overeat at this point.

 

 

I also knew I was going to want to try my scones.  I tried dishing them out, but I think since I tried it and it’s so amazing.  They are buttery, flakey, and filled with peppermint sweetness.  However, they are small and I only had one before sticking the rest of them in the fridge.  I think I’ll try to freeze the rest so they don’t go to waste, and I can use them as treats, not to overeat.

As for today, I need to really think and plan out my thanksgiving week, as I’m busy all week as don’t want this to be an excuse.  This idea that I could only eat one scone, and factor it into my calories, means I’m back on track.  I can’t allow Thanksgiving to turn from a meal to a day to a whole four day weekend.  My mom is already planning breakfast for the next day since so many people will be staying over.  I need to figure out how to restrain myself so that I don’t undo this good week….

More about my plan as I develop it…. I need to really figure out my schedule for the weekend before I can plan the rest of the weekend…

 

Another Great Weekend… Followed By…

This weekend was another great weekend, much needed down time.

Friday ended up being an okay day.  There were many ups and downs…. and sometimes I wish I post more regularly so that I can capture how I’m feeling at that moment.  Sometimes I have time and I’m being lazy, sometimes I have priorities.

As for this weekend, I was lazy Saturday and had priorities yesterday.

Friday, I did well after graduation.  There wasn’t as much food as normal, most of the passed sandwiches got eaten and left overs were scarce afterwards.  I started to clean up my room with my students who were left, until my secretary asked me to help her clean up.  After 2 hours, she sent me upstairs with an opened package of cheeses from Costco, a tub of whole fat tuna fish, and some chocolate.  I ate a few small slices of cheese, and a few spoonfuls of tuna.  Then I put it away and drank water.

After school, I forced myself to go for a run with my co-worker (and friend) and I’m glad we went.  It was hot and I was thirsty most of the run, however, I felt great afterwards.  I ran 2 miles downtown in 20 minutes, then we walked back together.  When I got back, I changed and walked uptown to meet my mother for dinner. We walked another 15 blocks to dinner at Brazil Grill, and got seated upstairs within a few minutes.  I was starving, I had run and walked for miles and ate salty foods!  Arggg!!!

But it was okay now, I was sitting down to eat with my mom.  I was anticipating the Prix Fixe menu, but we received the whole menu, and was told we just couldn’t chose the specials.  We browsed the menu, and it was quite difficult to make our new choices.  We settled on a salad and a seafood salad as appetizers, a Brazilian Fish Stew and Rodizio sampler as entrees and a passion fruit mousse as dessert with a bottle of white wine.  We got bread at first, and asked for no more.  I only ended up eating about half.

We split our apps.

I’m sure the seafood was doused in oil and or butter, but it also had some broth.

Then the entrees came out… surprisingly with fries, a plate of rice and black beans.

My mom was smart and took more than half the fries off the plate and sent them away with the waiter.  Then we each took a few small spoonfuls of rice and stuck the plate under the fish as if its out of sight, its out of mind.  We then divided the rest of the meats: pork, sausage, chicken and steak, all looking less than 3 ounces as a whole piece, and we split them.  Then we picked at the fish in the sauce.

Then we finished with dessert!

Yum!

I wanted to walk home after our show, but my feet hurt so much from my heels all day long!  They were killing me, that once I put on my flip flops, I could still barely walk.  I made it to the subway, and home, crawling straight into bed.  Ahhh!!!

Saturday morning I woke up early for bootcamp, unsure of how my feet would be feeling, but they felt fine!  I got dressed and gathered some things for the afternoon, since I was unsure of where my day would take me.  I did want to go to the Mermaid Parade on Coney Island.  I walked to bootcamp and was tired throughout the class, but pushed myself as hard as I could.  After class, I couldn’t see myself sitting on a train for 2 hours, I was tired and still feeling done at this point.

I ended up getting myself a coffee and eating my Quest protein bar.  That was just what I needed with a little rest in the park.  I walked home, enjoying the perfect Summer Solstice weather.  When I got into Brooklyn, I wasn’t ready to go home and instead enjoyed the waterfront views.  Once I finally made it home, I was hungry.  I ate lunch, showered and headed back out.  I didn’t want to stay home, but did want to be by myself.  I walked the avenue and window shopped.

In the evening, I went food shopping, not buying much as I had yogurts I bought on sale the previous week, some hummus singles and frozen foods for the week.  I brought fruits and veggies for the most part.  Then when it finally got dark, I sat down to watch some tv, where I fell asleep shortly after.

Sunday was my last morning of tutoring until September.  I walked there and back, waking up early enough to do so.  I was tired on the way home, but all I kept thinking about was how I was headed to the Outback for dinner that night, and when I got on the scale the previous day, I wasn’t that happy with what I saw.  But I didn’t let that stop me or my positive thoughts.  I had a much needed day of sanity, I can’t say rest because I walked close to 20 miles, but sanity was important too!

On my walk home I also found the bike I want in a shop’s window.  I have been wanting a new bike for a while and finally found the one I want.  I plan on picking it up this weekend, and I want to start riding again.  It will cut down on my commute time, but still have me moving at least.

Sunday after I walked home, I headed to mom’s and changed.  My clothes fit me again, and I have a big wardrobe to look through.  I am happy to be wearing dresses again, and so I chose one for the day (my nephew actually made the choice, since I couldn’t decide between two).  I went out with my niece and sister in law for the day and met my mom and nephews for dinner.  I had already planned what I wanted, and although I looked through the menu, I wasn’t changed.  My mom and I got the exact same thing: The 6oz sirloin with a garden salad and seasonal veggies.

One nephew ate my croutons and I had Ranch dressing on the side (my indulgence).  I had a sliver of bread and butter, and a moonshine special drink, which clocked in at less that 150 calories according to the menu.

I left feeling proud, like I did when I left Brazil Grill, but at least I knew a more definite count of my calories, based on the menu’s nutritional facts.

I headed home, and was a little hungry, in need of dessert.  I ate a Special K Indulgence bar, and was okay.  I forced myself to bed so I wouldn’t snack.

This morning I woke up and my mood immediately went sour.  One thing after another this morning went wrong, from the subway trip to the lost keys and more.  I ate my breakfast of a banana and yogurt, but was stressing all morning long!  For lunch I ate hummus and veggies, and continued to stress.  But why I couldn’t figure out!

After lunch, I was grading papers and stressing, which caused me to eat.  I snacked on a bag of mini cookies (a 1oo calorie pack), and then picked at chocolates I hate, some cereal and went for more, but stopped myself.  I knew I was in a foul mood, and wanted to change it.  Before staff meeting I took a walk for a coffee.  I bought one munchkin and a coffee.  It made me feel a little better.  Then I spoke to my principal and felt a bit relieved on other issues.

I forced myself to bootcamp, since I was tired, but I was scheduled for 2 classes, back to back.  I took my first one and was tired, but wanted to try out a different instructor for the second class.  I’m glad I stayed, the two classes made me feel a bit better about myself.  I walked home, eating my chocolate Quest bar along the way (perfect for my sweet tooth of the day).  I made it half way home, when my custodian told me he found my keys, behind my file cabinet!  Woo Hoo!

Tonight, I made my veggies containers for the week of snow peas, carrots, red and green peppers.  I cut up a mango, made more coffee and got ready for the morning.  I will have to plan my meals tomorrow night, but as for tonight, I’m going to bed with the intent of waking up happy tomorrow.

Mixed Feelings

This journey is always an up and down battle, and the emotions I have follow! This time around, however, I really am trying not to let anything that I can’t control bother me. Then there are the things I can’t control, and make the wrong decisions about… then I need to let go of that also! I can’t cry over spilled milk.

When I went food shopping this past weekend, I was a little lazy in putting things together. However, even with my busy schedule I made sure to do so on Monday. I also made baggies of grapes for a quick treat. Since they were on sale, I bagged them in 1 cup servings and stuck them in the freezer for when I’m hot and want something to cool me off.

Tuesday I weighed in and regardless of all the working out I did on Monday, I stayed exactly the same. I have to remember though, that since I weighed in last Tuesday I lost 1.8, even though I went up this weekend! And I had so many events to combat this weekend, I need to be happy with that. I’m just anticipating the 160’s and want to be back in them to stay already… at least until I move out of them on the lower end, as opposed to the higher end as it’s been.

The day progressed, I headed to work and craved carbs. I don’t know if it was all the working out or just plain mental, but I wanted a bagel. I settled on a egg white wake up wrap from Dunkin Donuts and a large coffee to add to my coffee I prepared. I was just tired and wanted to wake up before it became problematic in my eating. I finished breakfast with a banana.

I had lunch as normal, eating my taco salad which I made in pieces on Sunday and put together at the time I was ready to eat it so nothing became soggy. I hate a soggy salad!

This is went I started to go awry. Some of my students were acting out and not completing their work. I had to finish assessments and this was frustrating me. So what did I do? Eat cookies. My para brought me in 2 Chips Ahoy cookies of a new flavor. They were soft, chewy and sweet!

But I didn’t stop there, I ate 3 Girl Scout Thin Mints and went for more, but that’s when I realized I was emotionally eating and stopped. I knew I wasn’t running and didn’t want to go incredibly over my calories for the day. I logged everything though, which is another step I need to work on regularly. I went to the doctor for my foot, so I wasn’t sure how the rest of the week would go. I was able to walk home, but it started hurting close to home!

I got home and wasn’t too hungry, I was thinking maybe I didn’t need dinner. I was more tired than anything and figured maybe I should just go to sleep. But I put on the tv and started picking. First it was frozen grapes, then cheese, then chocolate covered almonds. I stopped and ate dinner instead. Like the night before, a frozen package of veggies and chicken. Tonight I put some parm cheese on top, and continued to pick at it until my food was finished heating up. I ate and felt unfull, this was interesting considering an hour before I wasn’t even hungry. I continued to pick and before I knew it I forced myself inside to go to sleep. I’m glad I made that decision before I really went to town!

I slept for solid hours last night, and woke up feeling ok. I was unsure of the damage that snacking did, and contemplated the scale, but got on anyway and was happy with what I saw. It gave me confidence for today, since tonight I am heading to a dinner event.

The day went well, and I didn’t pick too much. I sucked on mints this afternoon when I wanted to start snacking with the kids. Then since I was limping with my foot hurting, I didn’t go for my run, rather I headed to Old Navy for a one day sale and bought 4 new pairs of running pants and 2 shirts (along with 2 really cute dresses I saw). Now I sit at Cosi, drinking coffee awaiting dinner at Max Brenner with friends. This concerns me because they are a chocolate restaurant and not much on the menu is relatively healthy. Even the salads are served on top of a waffle! I’ve been analyzing the menu and still am unsure of what I will be eating. There are a few possible options, including the grilled salmon, a salad without the waffle, a hummus appetizer, and a fruit smoothie for dessert, instead of chocolate! I need to go in strong and end stronger!

Here goes…..

After dinner:

So I met up with the group for dinner/dessert.  Once inside, the chocolate overwhelmed me!  We got seated and I couldn’t figure out what to do!  Everything was so indulgent on the menu.  I decided, what the hell, this place had been open for 8 years, and this is the first time I’ve been there.  It might take me 8 more years to get back.  After asking the waiter like 5 questions about the menu, I settled on a S’mores Sundae:

The Spectacular Melting Chocolate S’mores Sundae:

chocolate peanut butter ice cream, layered with milk chocolate fondue, fluffy marshmallow, warm peanut butter sauce, pure chocolate chunks. garnished with whipped cream and a toasted marshmallow, served with white chocolate ganache

I couldn’t believe my eyes when it arrived!

 

The sundae was gigantic, and I only ate about a third of the bowl.  Everyone at the table had a few bites, and there was still a decent portion left over.  I kept drinking water as to not go into a sugar coma it was so much.  But I was full.  We left and I needed to walk a little, so I headed downtown a few train stations.  Instead of hopping on the train, I ended up walking home, a solid 5 miles.  I hope that was enough to burn some of that ice cream off.  Ahhh but there are no regrets.  The sundae was good, I didn’t pig out, and I wasn’t overly full when I left, I was simply content!

Walking home, I was happy I wore my tighter jeans to remind myself to stay in check.  I might have overeaten if I was wearing my bigger jeans, because there would have been more room.

As for now… I am ready for bed as it is late yet again, and I haven’t been getting enough sleep, but I have been trying to take care of myself in other ways.  Adding sleep in is next!

 

 

Another Eventful Weekend!!

This weekend was absolutely amazing…  I went out and enjoyed all the weekend could possibly offer me, and stayed healthy doing so!  Win!

The weekend started Friday after school, when I walked home the 4 odd miles.  I got home, changed, shucked some corn and mixed the salsa I made that morning before work.  Then I headed out again.  I walked the mile and a half to a friend’s house for a reunion BBQ.

I was the first one there and so of course, I was offered wine right away, I accepted after a glass of water and only had one additional glass throughout the night, the rest was water.  I tried to eat the salads and leaner meats such as the BBQ chicken.

I was saving room for dessert because malva pudding and custard was brought by my professor from South Africa last year and I had been looking forward to it all week.  In addition to that small piece, I ate a small piece of carrot cake and a bite sized brownie.  I left content for my walk home.

Saturday I woke up, and got on the scale.  I weighed exactly what I weighed the previous day.  I was satisfied with that.  So I got dressed, packed up a change of clothes and a water bottle and snacks.  I walked 6 miles to my Burlesque Bikini Bootcamp class in Manhattan.  I took class and enjoyed the uptempo dancing for the morning.  It put me in a good mood and I was ready to tackle the day.  And it was an eventful one: Big Apple BBQ in Madison Square Park, Puerto Rican Day Festival on 116th Street, a birthday party at Greenwood Beer Garden, and drinks at The Delancy!

At the BBQ, I opted for a sausage since the line was shorter.  It came on a plain hot dog bun and I didn’t go for seconds or dessert.  I drank one beer and chilled listening to music.  It was the first time I had ever gone and I would go back next year with a big sheet and spend the day, sampling several meats across the day’s time.  But for Saturday, I stayed simple.

A few hours later, I trekked uptown, but not for long.  I had another beer and walked a few blocks with mom and dad, before being driven to the train station across town for my next stop in Brooklyn.

At the beer garden, I had water and a diet Coke.  I enjoyed the sunny afternoon in a new spot with good people.  I would have stayed longer if I could, was over-committed this day!  Leaving the beer garden, I hopped on a bus for a half hour towards Northern Brooklyn, then I walked the two and a half miles instead of waiting for a second bus.  I got home, showered, changed and got back to the train in time to transfer to the bar.  It was over-rated and I was disappointed after wanting to go there for ages.  Well now I know.

We ended the night in the Village, in a sports bar, where I drank my second cocktail of vodka and club soda for the night.  I passed up ordering food, snacked on a few fries in front of me and then waited to leave for home.  A friend drove me to the train, and the walk home I was anticipating (I even packed sneakers in lieu of my heels for the walk in my purse) was traded in for a 2am train ride.

Sunday after tutoring, I walked home another 6 miles.  This walk was refreshing for some reason on such a hot day.  I drove to my mom’s where my nephew was having a bowling birthday party.  On the way, I stopped for something to eat.  I ended up with an iced coffee, a peach and 2 plums.

At the birthday party I ate a small piece of pizza, and had a pint of beer with the family.  It was a pleasant afternoon, which led to a great evening.  Before we left the bowling ally, we had cake.  I chose the smallest piece and didn’t eat the frosting (because I don’t like too much of it).

We all rendezvoused at mom’s, since it was actually her birthday (Happy Birthday Mom!)  Since we were all there, we decided to celebrate her birthday.  We had a BBQ, which I ate way more than I should have, including chips and dip, steak, pasta, sausage and a burger and cheese, without the bun.

The topper was the delightful pralines and vanilla cake we picked up from Baskin Robbins.  I ate a decent sized piece and wanted seconds.  Instead of leaving the cake out, I wrapped it up and put it right back in the freezer for my brother to finish this week.  As no one needed yet another piece of cake on that day.  After everyone left and I helped clean up, I also began my trip home.  I needed to still go food shopping and cook, and it was only 8pm (that was sarcastic if you couldn’t read between my lines).

Once I got close to home, I stopped in the food store.  I found everything on my list and did one small loop, picking up waffles since they were on sale and yogurts.  Lastly, I “splurged” on Quaker chocolate mini rice cakes.  This is what I gave into.  Since i had eaten so much, I just wanted to continue, but somehow stopped myself.  Once home, I cooked ground turnkey meat for my Mexican based salad including salsa and sour cream.  I also made chicken, which would go along with frozen veggies for a quick dinner.  I knew this week would be late and mostly eating out for dinner.  Finally I went to sleep.

Monday was a slow start.  I got on the scale and gained .6 of a pound.  But that’s okay, because my official weigh in day is Tuesday mornings, when I log it in my LoseIt app.  and less than a pound with all those parties this weekend was a huge Win!

I had too many meetings this morning and found out some upsetting news for my class next year.  However there was nothing and is nothing I can really do about it.  I decided then, not to over-stress it and figured it will all fall into place eventually.  However, the stress did come in when I realized I have less than 2 weeks left to finish progress reports for my students!  I ate my yogurt and fruit for breakfast.  Then we had a birthday party, and I ate a chocolate covered strawberry, homemade by one of my students.

At lunch, I had my salad, and then at the end of the day I forced myself to go for a run with my co-worker friend.  We ran a mile before something unexpected occurred on the route.  Someone jumped into the East River!  I think she will be okay, but we stayed with the first responders for about 30 minutes.  By this time it was too late to continue the run any farther.  Instead we ran back the mile to our starting point.  At some point during this run though, I started to find my high feeling that makes me forget I’m running.  Now I’ll be running after that feeling, trying to keep it throughout my runs.  I was also thinking about my cake during my run.  I don’t regret a single bite, it was amazing… but it meant I needed to work harder today!

Back at school, I changed, and walked to my Bootcamp class.  It was a great class and I felt the burn in my thighs during the class.  But there was so much lag time for the dance, that I felt energized and happy.  I walked the six miles home!

Once home, I ate… had chicken, frozen brussels sprouts in butter sauce, sour cream and salsa for all under 400 calories.  Another Win!  I finished the night by preparing the rest of my salads, washing dishes and icing my hips for all the exercise is starting to irritate them.

As for now, I feel great, and know this week will be great too!  No more stress over things I can’t control.  And I’m taking control of me and my decisions!  Here we go…

Proud to be Making Smart Decisions

I’ve been struggling a lot to deal with a balancing act of going out and being social, getting my work done and being healthy by eating right and exercising.  Last night, I felt like I tackled it perfectly!

In anticipation of going out to dinner last night, I went onto the restaurant’s website and chose what I wanted to eat, as I posted about yesterday!  Planning for this, I really tried to stick to my meals I brought, eating only more fruit than I anticipated, but that was okay.  I had an afternoon snack of a Chocolate Chip QuestBar.  Afterschool, I cancelled a meeting because I wasn’t prepared, and had more free time on my hands than I thought I would.  I couldn’t go for a run, because I’d be locked out (I probably could have figured out a way if I really wanted to…but…) So instead, I walked a co-worker home as we talked about weight loss, and then turned around and went back downtown, leaving me with a total of 2.5 miles until I hit the area of the restaurant.  I was starting to stress at work about everything I needed to do, so I decided instead of sitting in a bar and drinking my worries away, like I wanted to, I went to Starbucks.  I sat down, had an iced Americano (since the signed said it was lower in calories than their iced coffee, by about 100 calories) and used the time to plan some upcoming events.

I planned out some Burlesque Bikini Bootcamp classes that I had bought a 10-pack on Groupon.  I set up all 10 over the next month, so I have no excuses now.  Next is to plan the rest of my Sacred studio classes I also bought on Groupon.  I’m going to set those up for July, since they expire in August.  No more excuses and allowing myself to take the easy way out!

About the time for dinner, I walked over.  When I met up with the group, my world was shattered!  Norman’s Cay, the restaurant didn’t have their normal menu the entire week.  Apparently in NYC, its Caribbean week and so the restaurant was highlighting a different country each night.  Last night was Barbados.  They were only cooking 3 dishes!

Nothing on that menu looked remotely healthy!  I was freaking out, and couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do about it.  This was until about 10 minutes later when the entire group arrived and we were seated.  I realized an older member said something about sharing.  Once it finally clicked, I decided that was a great idea.

The appetizers arrived, fried fish, but not how I expected them.  They weren’t even breaded.  I took the top piece, that wasn’t sitting in the cream sauce, and some of the mango and cabbage salsa.  It was light and a scrumptious start to the night.

Next the main meal arrived, the pork chop with macaroni and cole slaw.  We split this as well.

This was a much better portion!  It was tender, tasty and everything I wanted it to be.  I was not unhappy that it was a changed menu.

Lastly, was dessert, which was a grape cake with ice cream.  Wow.  The cake was blondie like, as a harder cake.  I wanted to lick my plate clean to get the remaining ice cream, but contained myself.

We paid and left, and instead of meeting other friends for drinks, I walked home.  It was a warm, crisp night with a clear sky.  I felt accomplished and satisfied.  If I ate the entire 3-course meal on my own, I would have been busting and uncomfortable.

I walked home, enjoying the night sky.  I noticed the smile on my face most of the way.  I felt confident and excited.  The shirt I was wearing, I felt showed me some of the progress I have been making.

Once I got close to home, I went to the food store to buy things to make for a potluck BBQ I am going to tonight.  I wanted something on the healthier side and chose to make my mom’s homemade salsa with chips.  I’m also bringing corn on the cob for the grill with some cilantro butter.

I got home, and was hungry!  What?!?  I ate a spoonful of peanut butter and moved myself away from the kitchen.  I ended up going to sleep and waking up this morning in order to make the stuff for tonight!

I was not going to allow an overeating session to occur after I did so well at the restaurant.  I felt it all paid off when I got on the scale this morning and was down a pound from yesterday.  I think that was a combination of things, particularly because I walked 8 miles the day before and didn’t see a change on the scale.  I know I still shouldn’t weigh myself everyday because I fluctuate so much, but I need to see the numbers to maintain my focus.

As for now, I need to plan and execute a safe plan for this weekend, as I am going out tonight, tomorrow and tomorrow night and Sunday for parties.

Trapped

I had high hopes for yesterday, thinking I was prepared for everything. I had fruit as snacks, protein bars, and even brought my breakfast and lunch.

Once dinnertime came around is when things started going downhill. I did as I said I would, went to the salad bar with my big plate and chose only the good things, plus croutons at the bar. I also passed on the creamy dressings that were calling my name, opting for vinegar and a touch of oil.

Then the full buffet came into view…

I had some cheese, but passed on the creamy salads. I ate the corn and string beans veggies they had, probably doused in oil. I also chose the broiled fish as opposed to the meats at the carving station. My splurge there was my choice of creamed spinach…. it’s so delicious, creamy and crusted. I never have creamed spinach!

Then I got real bad. The tension was building higher and higher on the trip, and I let it go to my head, soothing it with a mediocre piece of cheesecake. If I didn’t have unfavorable interactions today, I probably wouldn’t have eaten it. But I did. And didn’t stop there, which is what makes me mad. I ate 3 carmel cremes while watching the show at Toby’s Dinner Theater near Washington DC.

We got back to the hotel near midnight. Myself, and one chaperone were sharing a room, everyone else received their own rooms, and we set the kids up in their shared rooms. Then instead of heading to the fitness center for a run, I got comfy. My roomie showered, and if I knew it was going to take so long, I would have ran for 30 minutes, but I had no idea when she said she was going in first, I would be waiting. This is when I became brewing with steam. So what did I do? I ate leftover sweets from the day!

Too much! And for no reason, I didn’t even really like what I ate, I just did it out of pure emotion.

This is what I’m annoyed at. The not going to the gym, and the emotional eating on the cake and sweets. I sit here this morning, after not hearing my first alarm at all at 5:45 to try to go to the gym. But I guess after going to sleep at 2:30, that was too early and I needed more sleep. I did hear my other alarm at 6:40, so I got up and headed down to the lobby for some me time. I need to rev myself up for today, because I can’t disappoint again.

I need to not let other’s influence my feelings and do the best for me… because in the end, she doesn’t care about me, and I have a feeling would step over me to better herself. So forget her, think about you as all the others do..