Trapped

I had high hopes for yesterday, thinking I was prepared for everything. I had fruit as snacks, protein bars, and even brought my breakfast and lunch.

Once dinnertime came around is when things started going downhill. I did as I said I would, went to the salad bar with my big plate and chose only the good things, plus croutons at the bar. I also passed on the creamy dressings that were calling my name, opting for vinegar and a touch of oil.

Then the full buffet came into view…

I had some cheese, but passed on the creamy salads. I ate the corn and string beans veggies they had, probably doused in oil. I also chose the broiled fish as opposed to the meats at the carving station. My splurge there was my choice of creamed spinach…. it’s so delicious, creamy and crusted. I never have creamed spinach!

Then I got real bad. The tension was building higher and higher on the trip, and I let it go to my head, soothing it with a mediocre piece of cheesecake. If I didn’t have unfavorable interactions today, I probably wouldn’t have eaten it. But I did. And didn’t stop there, which is what makes me mad. I ate 3 carmel cremes while watching the show at Toby’s Dinner Theater near Washington DC.

We got back to the hotel near midnight. Myself, and one chaperone were sharing a room, everyone else received their own rooms, and we set the kids up in their shared rooms. Then instead of heading to the fitness center for a run, I got comfy. My roomie showered, and if I knew it was going to take so long, I would have ran for 30 minutes, but I had no idea when she said she was going in first, I would be waiting. This is when I became brewing with steam. So what did I do? I ate leftover sweets from the day!

Too much! And for no reason, I didn’t even really like what I ate, I just did it out of pure emotion.

This is what I’m annoyed at. The not going to the gym, and the emotional eating on the cake and sweets. I sit here this morning, after not hearing my first alarm at all at 5:45 to try to go to the gym. But I guess after going to sleep at 2:30, that was too early and I needed more sleep. I did hear my other alarm at 6:40, so I got up and headed down to the lobby for some me time. I need to rev myself up for today, because I can’t disappoint again.

I need to not let other’s influence my feelings and do the best for me… because in the end, she doesn’t care about me, and I have a feeling would step over me to better herself. So forget her, think about you as all the others do..